Guest Blogger Jane Lovas' weekly series called “What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Life and Career” runs each Thursday

While you’re in college, meeting people is so easy. You move into the dorm and there are people all over the place, most of whom are also looking for new friends. Then classes start and there are more people around, and again many are looking for new friends. Soon, graduation is coming and with it a new job and maybe a new place to live. You’ll start your new job and meet everyone on your team, and while they are nice, they already has friends and family in the area. Maybe you’ll find a great little apartment. After four years of sharing a 10X10 room with a messy roommate, you are determined to have your own space but soon find that everyone else in your building is involved in their own lives.

You’re busy all day at work, and then come home at night thinking that this isn’t how your new life was supposed to turn out! It’s so much harder to connect with others when they aren’t right in front of your face. What will you do?

You can do one of two things; you can wait for friends to find you or you can go find friends. Take your pick, but I bet you’d prefer the second option if you had an idea of how to go about it.

First things first; we tend to bond with people that like the same things we do. What do you like to do? When you’re in college, it’s easy to start new activities. If you want to be involved in theater, walk over to the theater or sign up for a theater class. If you like sports, head to the gym, take a class or sign up for intramurals. You name it, you can do it.

The challenge now becomes prioritizing, deciding what you want to do and then finding out where it’s going on. Google a topic or activity and see what you can find. You can also search meet up groups. When you locate a group or activity that interests you, commit to trying it at least three times. At the first event you might feel uncomfortable, but usually by the third time you’re beginning to get a feel for it and the people are becoming familiar. If by the third or fourth time you’re not feeling comfortable, then it’s probably time to look for another group or activity.

When you go someplace new, don’t be afraid to take the initiative. Smile,! Say “Hi” and when you meet someone you’d like to get to know better, ask them if they’d care to join you for a cup of coffee.

Be prepared and think about how you’re going to make friends and where you’re going to go to meet them. I assure you that in six months you’ll look back and wonder how you ever thought you were lonely.

Have a great rest of your week!

"Lonely Monkey Ape at Zoo" courtesy epSos.de via Flickr Creative Commons

Jane Lovas is a career specialist who is the creator of the life changing 12 week tele-seminar “Creating the Life of Your Dreams”. She is also our guest blogger, whose column will run every Thursday. If you would like to contact Jane, you can reach her here, here or here.